It' a ... PARTY!

So I think the biggest looming question when you become pregnant is,

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

When I would respond, "no," it was quickly followed by,

"Are you going to find out?"

The answer to the second question was always, "yes."  I just can't imagine not finding out if another person (the doctor and the ultrasound tech) knew.  I mean, if I am going to be inches from the screen that shows me, how can I not!?

So first, here's what the old wives tales say:

Carrying high or low: BOY
(I'm carrying low)
Cravings: BOY
(I wouldn't call them cravings, but steak (for a week in May), grapefruit, and sour pickle spears)
Breakouts?: BOY
Nope
Hands Chapped?: BOY
My skin has been sooo dry.
Husband's weight: BOY
If anything, he's lost weight.  Could be the 100+ weather.
Chinese Gender Calendar: BOY

Morning Sickness: GIRL
How about all day sickness
Even/ Odd age/years: GIRL
27, 2011 both odd = girl
Heart rate: GIRL
Always above 140 (so far)

Wedding Ring test: Since I've read that circle means girl on one site and boy on another, I'm not sure.  It was a pendulum over my hand and a big circle over my belly.

And this test said I was 60% girl, 40% boy.

Some people say that the mom knows.  I did not know.
People would ask me what I wanted.  I seriously was happy with either!  I could see myself as baseball mom; I could see myself with a dancer.  I could see myself with a bookworm boy or girl, or a rambunctious boy or girl.

I started off wanting a girl.  Then I convinced myself that I was having a boy.  The week before the ultrasound I started thinking of baby in the feminine.  I had a dream where she was born early, but healthy, and I started calling her by a female name.  A couple of times when thinking about baby I would think "her."  But once I started doing that I started to think, "if we eventually have a boy and a girl, I'd prefer that the boy were older."

So we had the ultrasound on Wednesday August 17th, and baby totally cooperated with revealing the sex.  Since hub's b-day is on the 22nd and he randomly had a Saturday night off, I decided to plan a party!  I love having people over!  Hubs started calling it the "sex party." Everyone we told that to thought it was hilarious.  I could not however, bring myself to actually write "sex" on an invitation, so it remained in the file name only.

Here's what the invite looked like (names and details of location changed):

So we didn't tell anyone if it was a boy or girl till Saturday.  Well that's not totally true, I told my sister, who is a huge pain, and threw a pout-fest the week prior. The truth is I really did want to tell someone, and who better? Sorry mom, I love you too!

We told our families at lunch on Saturday, which also served as a bit of a b-day lunch since my dad & hub's dad's b-days are the same week.  But on to the party ...

I wanted to think of a fun way to "reveal" the sex to everyone, and I'm a really big fan of games.  I was planning on doing a big word jumble and handing out letters, and making people figure out a phrase, but I couldn't think of anything creative or funny.  Hubs was being no help at all so I finally said, "I know you're going to think of something hilarious on Saturday night or Sunday morning, and then I'm going to be pissed.  So instead, think of something now!"  He had a 45 min drive, and 15 mins later he called back, "I've got it.  It's a mix between Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.  I've already got some categories and questions."   He's awesome!

We had 5 categories:

Movies with Babies
Babies in Music
Famous Babies
Babies in Television
The Pen is Mightier (thank you SNL)

We had 2 teams (girls vs boys).  One person would come up and spin a wheel, and have to answer the question corresponding to the number.  If they got it wrong the question would go to the other team who could work together to guess the answer (like Family Feud).  If neither team knew the answer, nothing happened.  When a right answer was given the team could guess a letter.  The phrase we had created could only be guessed after a winning answer was given by the team.  The girls totally dominated this one.  Here's what it revealed:

Yes, this is a Harry Potter reference.

IT'S A BOY!!

We had such a fun time at the party, and are so glad so many people could come (although we missed those who couldn't).  Here's some cute pics.

Yummy Dairy-free cake (and most of the food), made by C-Store!

And here is a picture from the ultrasound!

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Back

So what's great about the fact that no one knows about this blog is that I don't have to apologize for my absence!

To sum up the pregnancy to date:
MAY - so queasy, so tired.  I literally was thinking, "what have I done?" "have I made a huge mistake?" "what is this parasite sucking all of the life out of me!?"  If I wasn't working or actively engaged in an activity outside my home, I was asleep.  I only ate bland comfort foods, some fruit (grapefruit sounded so good, but I don't think I ever had any), and some veggies (I definitely loved super tender/slightly overdone steamed broccoli).  I could not handle the thought of fresh cilantro or spicy foods.

JUNE - somewhere during a rehearsal just before recital I made it over some sort of hump.  My body decided that although it was tired, it would persevere if needed.  I felt like I was quite a rockstar after making it through 2 very long days of dress rehearsal and recital, but it did take me 4 days to fully recover!  The stomach was still unsettled most of the day, but I was able to enjoy a greater variety of foods, and nap time was down to a more reasonable number and was not everyday.  I did take one road trip to Austin with my parents, and questioned my sanity in deciding to drive to MN in 2 weeks time.  We had an appointment on the 28th, which marked the last full week of my first trimester!  The heartbeat was strong, somewhere in the 150s.  Some say this is a sign that it's a girl.  ?

JULY - we started the month with a long venture up to MN for my cousin's wedding.
Day 1: we traveled to St. Louis on the 4th. Once we were checked in and had a small nap we walked from the hotel toward the arch down market st and through the parks to eat, and catch some fireworks.

Day 2: St. Louis brewery, visited Hubs' great-grandfather's old house, White Castle (I stayed with just fries, loaded as they may have been), Forest Park, the Basilica, naps, the arch (really just walked through the park, we'd both already been up), and a Cardinals game!

Day 3: Drive to MN, Dinner with family
Day 4: gave the bride a massage, hung out with family, rehearsal
Day 5: Wedding Day! I spent the morning at my grandparents sitting outside on the deck sipping tea. The wedding was a blast.
Day 6 & 7: Saw hub's great-aunt and first cousin once removed. Celebrated Kylie's birthday. Hung out with family!
Day 8: Drive to Salina, KS.  We visited with a friend of mine from high school and his awesome wife (who is due with her 2nd 5 days after me!)
Day 9: the LONG drive home
July has flown by.  I've been teaching 1 night a week, but that has wrapped up.  I've been massaging, but summers are always slow.  My energy is back up: not to normal, but probably normal for a hot summer day!

We purchased a crib set.  Or rather hub's parents purchased a crib set for us!

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Letting the Cat out of the Bag

So we had our follow-up appointment today, and everything looked wonderful.  We got to see little arm buds and leg buds kicking and dancing about.  We saw a beating heart with a 160 rate. We saw blood flowing through the umbilical cord.  It was crazy!

We are slowly beginning to let family know.  I let both sets of grandparents know yesterday, and they were both so excited for us!  It's fun having more people know; it makes it more exciting.  The thought of miscarriage is still in there, though.  And now that more people know it feels more real, which certainly means any loss will hurt all the more, but I suppose you can't fully prepare yourself for how you'll feel, you just have to know that it sometimes happens, and God's in control of it all.

So the due date is officially set: January 8th. As my grandpa said, "not very good tax planning!"  Wow.  This is crazy.

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On the Mend

So the past few weeks have gone a little something like this.

Wake-up, eat crackers, fall back asleep
Wake-up, eat breakfast, will myself to work
Want to fall asleep on clients, or leave the room so I can go feel queasy in peace
Eat a little something
Come home and eat a little more something
Fall back asleep
Wake-up, go teach, tell the girls that when they are stressing me out I feel like I need to throw-up.  They think this is funny.  I really do feel like I need to throw-up.
Go home and fall asleep.
Wake-up 2 times to pee, eat crackers.

It's been crap.  I haven't been excited at all about being pregnant.  Most of my thoughts centered around: if I'm this tired now, how am I ever going to survive once I actually have a baby OR if I'm this miserable now how will I ever survive child-birth.  Most of the time it felt like I had a parasite sucking the life out of me.

On Thursday, however, things started to turn around.  There was an hour or so that I actually felt good (okay or not bad was the best I had been in 2 weeks).  The past few days have been a lot more manageable.  I know I should just feel good about feeling better, but there is part of me that feels like maybe I should be worried.  Maybe things are not progressing if I'm not feeling like total crap.  But I realize that those thought are silly because they serve no constructive purpose.  Plus there is still enough queasiness, bloat, and tenderness to keep me in check.

The big re-confirm appointment is in two days.  We are hoping to see a 9 week 2 day old baby with a strong heartbeat.  If everything is good, we are going to start letting more people know we're expecting!

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155

Well we are confirmed!  There was a super strong 155 heartbeat, and yes there is a baby in there!  But not so fast there.  Don't go running around telling people yet.  Kiddo is only measuring 7 weeks instead of 8 at which the 40 week gestational calendar would place me.  The doctor and I are not concerned since I am sometimes a 34 day cycle person instead of the ever so common 28 day people.  TMI?  Anyway, this discovery made me celebrate my decision to push the appointment to the 8th week instead of the standard 7.  The doctor also thanked me, since no one wants to see that there isn't a heartbeat only to find out it was only because the calendar is slightly different for some.

Now due to the fact that I'm measuring more than a week off we will be going back in two weeks to confirm growth.  At that time I should be measuring about 9 weeks, which makes me feel more confident about sharing the news with our friends and family.  The dance studio will just have to wait to hear the news, since I don't want every parent to know, especially if I happen to miscarry over the summer.  That would be an awkward August full of telling people the bad news.  The big bummer is that I really wanted to be the one to tell my students, but now the news will probably gradually filter out mid-summer.  There are not many secrets around a dance studio.

We're very excited, although it's not bubbling over, since I'm still super tired and queasy, and not many people know.  In fact, I'm kinda freaking out a bit! :)

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Confirmation

I got a call from the doctors office today to confirm my confirmation appointment.  Also to confirm that I have no other insurance that I maybe forgot to list, because we don't have maternity coverage.


Tomorrow, tomorrow ... you're only a day away.


I'm nervous about tomorrow.  What we'll see.  If we'll hear anything.  But talking and writing about it only makes it worse.  I can't premeditate my reaction one way or the other, so for now I'll just settle for the update on what should be going on (via "thebump"):


Baby is now the size of a raspberry!
Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk.  Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.


Playing host to an ever-growing embryo does take a toll.  Heavy fatigue may be setting in.  Treat yourself gently.  Though it's not showing yet, you're growing a little person in there!

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28 years; 7 weeks preggo

So it was my birthday this past Tuesday!  I'm a big fan of my birthday.  I think this stems from always feeling like there was never a date to have a party, and sometimes not really having a party when I was younger.  May's always so crazy.  I usually had a banquet, dress rehearsal, recital, final exam, or graduation on my birthday or the weekend closest to it.  I used to hate that I had a May birthday, but now I love it.  May is such an exciting month!  The weather is usually nice.  Everyone is excited about the end of the school year, and the promises of an awesome summer.

For my birthday this year Hubs whipped up some french toast with sliced peaches ... yumm.  I didn't even mind that we didn't have syrup (a couple of months ago I finally threw out a bottle that we had had for years ... not that high fructose corn syrup goes bad!)  We met up for a late lunch with my sister and parents at Haven, which has become a new favorite.  We sat on their patio, by a pretty water feature enjoying a shrimp corn dog, deviled eggs, a delicious and tender steak, and freshly made lemonade.

After lunch I went straight to teach, where I wasn't the nicest teacher in the whole world, but apparently cracked up my Intermediate & Advanced Ballet students.  Who knew I was so funny?  Unfortunately my Ballet 2As (average age 7), got into a little trouble because they couldn't hold still for more then 10 seconds (maybe not even that long), but they all gave me hugs at the end of class with cheery "happy birthdays", so I couldn't have been that mean.

Last night after I finished teaching Hubs and I went out with our awesome friends Randi and Donald to Beaver's.  Their ginger soda is a new addiction! SO GOOD.  It was such a fun time of catching up, and I was totally planning on telling Randi about the belly, but just never felt the overwhelming desire.  In fact I didn't invite other people to join so that I could tell her/them.  However, she graduates this weekend, and all of her sisters will be in town, and I'll be around, and I think that she would want to tell her sisters: I know I found out about some of their pregnancies before they told their friends.  And I totally don't mind them knowing since they live in different states, and I never see them, and if I miscarry she'll be the one to have to share the news.  BUT, I'm going to see them all this weekend.  That, and I've waited this long to tell people, I might as well wait till the confirmation appointment on Tuesday.

Speaking of the belly and confirmation appointments: Sunday the 15th marked 7 weeks preganant.  According to "the bump": Baby's brain -- bothe hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.


On Monday I was really wishing I hadn't changed the appointment, and would be going to the doctor on my birthday, but now that the day has passed, and I'm now only 5 days away, I feel fine.  I'd rather the results of the ultrasound were more conclusive than kind of know one week sooner.  Hopefully the belly has a perfectly formed heart that is beating strongly, and if not, I have peace about that too.

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The Belly

The belly does not like warm water on it, especially from the shower.  Which is unfortunate because I love a warm shower.

The belly has a very keen sense of smell: towels washed in bleach. towels that smell like face. hair products. massage cream. my upper lip.  the area my dog sleeps in.  Fortunately none of the smells add to the queasiness.  It's just odd, though, since I already had a pretty sensitive sense of smell.

The belly only wants a few bites of something before saying "enough."

The belly is not good at communicating what food sounds appetizing.

Thoughts of certain foods or things make the belly uneasy.

Bumpy car rides, emotional excitement (positive or negative/ from self or others), and waistbands of all kinds are not friendly to the belly.

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Tummy troubles

So I'm not even going to complain.  I have an aunt and friend who spent every morning vomiting during the beginning of their pregnancies.  Waves of queasiness are nothing.  Cramping? It comes in waves.  Usually a few slow breaths calm things down.  That, and moving my waist band so that it's not putting pressure on my belly!  But what's so weird is my eating.  I get hungry without warning, and then full less than halfway through.  It's so strange.  Like just now I sat down with 4 small rectangles of dark chocolate: less than 3.5 grams, and couldn't finish.  I caved and bought a McFlurry while at the gas station today only to be "over it" 4 bites in (too bad I decided to finish it).

I've been doing more paleo/ primal research, such a stark contrast from being vegetarian, and am finding it really interesting.  I have a pretty ridiculously good diet (McFlurry aside), but I still have some major weaknesses: my organic lightly salted popcorn that I eat in mass, tortilla chips, and way too much rice (Chipotle anyone?).  I also need to up the spinach and good grass-fed beef intake.  Who wants to come over and prepare a steak salad for me every day!?

I've also been feeling pretty tired earlier in the evening and sleeping solidly.  I can't for the life of me figure out how to sleep on my side again.  I've become an exclusive back sleeper!  I guess I'll have to go for one of those big pillows, but I still think I'll wake up with my arms numb and tingly.  I also feel that I've lost all ability to hold my stomach muscles.  I already had a little pooch (I've ALWAYS had a little pooch), but now I just can't hold anything.  Maybe yoga tomorrow morning will help.

Not really sure where I'm going with all of this, so I'm going to end here.

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Water, water! More water!

So the past two weeks I've been more thirsty than usual.  I was chalking it up to dance classes, where I was talking non-stop cleaning dances for recital.  But today I did not teach, and my mouth has felt so dry all day.  I've packed away 3 liters of water, and yet I'm still thirsty.  The oddest part is that I haven't had to pee a lot. I have been told I have an iron bladder ... whatever that means!

Day 3 of knowing I'm preggo and feeling a little happier and more positive each day.  And silly as it sounds, that kind of scares me.  If I let myself get too excited, I'm going to be all the more upset if things don't work out.  I also changed my first doctor visit to a week later, May 24th.  Will this just give me more time to get excited? We'll see.  And what will be, will be.

I'm thirsty.

Please note that I ordinarily use a Nalgene water bottle, but in a moment of thirst on wednesday, bought this. It's filtered tap water inside.

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Going to the Doctor

So as soon as I got the results of my pregnancy test I called my OB/GYN. They like to do the first visit in week 7 or 8. The first available date was May 17th. My birthday.  I'd be 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

I'm thinking about changing it to a week later, but am feeling so conflicted. Part of me wants to go as soon as possible, but part of me also wants to be more certain about the baby's health after the appointment.

I just really want to see a heartbeat.

Most women average a 28 day cycle. I was averaging 34. This means that the fetal age would be calculated at 5 weeks, but I might really only be 4. And even though I know everything goes by date of LMP, I might only measure 6 weeks. But even at 6 weeks we should be able to see the heart beating. But what if the heart stops, and I don't know it until my next appointment in 4 weeks? I don't know if that's a case for or against moving the visit to the following week: my second appt would occur sooner, but a heartbeat later (week 8 vs. week 7) is a stronger indicator of survival.

I also really want to let myself start getting excited, because I feel the excitement swelling. I'm happy, although still reserved. I also really want to start telling close friends, though I swore I'd wait till I heard the heart.

On mother's day we are going to tell the hubs' parents. The odd thing is, this was my mother-in-law's idea. Because I didn't have a mimosa Easter weekend, and because I'm going out with both my family and their's on mother's day, she thought that I was planning on telling them then. I debunked this claim to my SIL, the weekend before I knew that I actually was preggo. However, I thought it was a really cute idea, and kinda wished that was why I was planning the day as such.

So good idea Mom-o, hope you're a little surprised! :)

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2 pink lines

On May 4th at 7:30 in the morning I saw this.

Yup I'm pregnant.

At first when I saw them I wasn't excited at all. I was nervous. I stood in the guest bathroom for a couple of minutes breathing and trying to figure out how I felt. I didn't know. I felt like just staying there and keeping it a secret. This moment always seemed like it should be a jumping up and down moment. I walked back to the bedroom and tapped on the open door. Surely Hubs hadn't fallen back asleep. He had beaten me to the master bathroom to pee, and wasn't the first thing on his mind that morning that I was taking a pregnancy test!? Apparently not. I tapped a little louder and he looked up very confused. I don't remember what exactly I said; I think I just held up the test. He hugged me with excitement. I was speechless.

I went off to work to give 3 massages, and surprisingly didn't think about it much. It didn't seem real. Afterward, I went to my parent's house, where I first told my mom. I just showed her the picture of the test on my phone. She said, "does that mean you are!?" in a quiet but excited tone, my dad was in the living room and could hear us. When I nodded she gave me a shushed "oooooh!" which if you know my mom is showing a lot of giddiness and enthusiasm. It immediately made me feel more calm, and a little bit excited.

I tried to be clever with the way that I told my dad, but he was too doped up on meds (he had his knee replaced last week) to catch my subtlety. Finally I spilled the news outright and he said something like, "good, that's good." And then reminded me that I probably shouldn't be telling people yet. "Yes Dad."

When I hugged my mom goodbye she said, "I'll be much more excited for you in 3 months." I let her know that her reaction was perfect, and that I totally understand. My mom had 2 miscarriages between my sister and me: the second happening late in the 1st trimester, and only 1 or 2 months before I was conceived. My sister's first pregnancy was a miscarriage as well. I've always kind of had it in my head that my first would also be a miscarriage. I've been preparing for it. I already have a to-do list for after I miscarry:

eat a lot of sushi

drink a lot of red wine

paint the front bedroom and dining room
    donate blood

But that's not actually why I was nervous when I saw the double lines. It just gave me anxiety. Like, "do I really want this?"

Later that night I called my sister and told her to grab her phone. She knew immediately why. I had emailed her a picture of the test. She was giddy and apparently had a big goofy smile on her face, just as I had for her both times she had told me her news. She helped me feel a bit more relaxed about the news, and even a little excited.

Here's to the pregnancy journey, no matter how long it actually lasts.

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