Letting the Cat out of the Bag

So we had our follow-up appointment today, and everything looked wonderful.  We got to see little arm buds and leg buds kicking and dancing about.  We saw a beating heart with a 160 rate. We saw blood flowing through the umbilical cord.  It was crazy!

We are slowly beginning to let family know.  I let both sets of grandparents know yesterday, and they were both so excited for us!  It's fun having more people know; it makes it more exciting.  The thought of miscarriage is still in there, though.  And now that more people know it feels more real, which certainly means any loss will hurt all the more, but I suppose you can't fully prepare yourself for how you'll feel, you just have to know that it sometimes happens, and God's in control of it all.

So the due date is officially set: January 8th. As my grandpa said, "not very good tax planning!"  Wow.  This is crazy.

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On the Mend

So the past few weeks have gone a little something like this.

Wake-up, eat crackers, fall back asleep
Wake-up, eat breakfast, will myself to work
Want to fall asleep on clients, or leave the room so I can go feel queasy in peace
Eat a little something
Come home and eat a little more something
Fall back asleep
Wake-up, go teach, tell the girls that when they are stressing me out I feel like I need to throw-up.  They think this is funny.  I really do feel like I need to throw-up.
Go home and fall asleep.
Wake-up 2 times to pee, eat crackers.

It's been crap.  I haven't been excited at all about being pregnant.  Most of my thoughts centered around: if I'm this tired now, how am I ever going to survive once I actually have a baby OR if I'm this miserable now how will I ever survive child-birth.  Most of the time it felt like I had a parasite sucking the life out of me.

On Thursday, however, things started to turn around.  There was an hour or so that I actually felt good (okay or not bad was the best I had been in 2 weeks).  The past few days have been a lot more manageable.  I know I should just feel good about feeling better, but there is part of me that feels like maybe I should be worried.  Maybe things are not progressing if I'm not feeling like total crap.  But I realize that those thought are silly because they serve no constructive purpose.  Plus there is still enough queasiness, bloat, and tenderness to keep me in check.

The big re-confirm appointment is in two days.  We are hoping to see a 9 week 2 day old baby with a strong heartbeat.  If everything is good, we are going to start letting more people know we're expecting!

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