Letting the Cat out of the Bag

So we had our follow-up appointment today, and everything looked wonderful.  We got to see little arm buds and leg buds kicking and dancing about.  We saw a beating heart with a 160 rate. We saw blood flowing through the umbilical cord.  It was crazy!

We are slowly beginning to let family know.  I let both sets of grandparents know yesterday, and they were both so excited for us!  It's fun having more people know; it makes it more exciting.  The thought of miscarriage is still in there, though.  And now that more people know it feels more real, which certainly means any loss will hurt all the more, but I suppose you can't fully prepare yourself for how you'll feel, you just have to know that it sometimes happens, and God's in control of it all.

So the due date is officially set: January 8th. As my grandpa said, "not very good tax planning!"  Wow.  This is crazy.

Read more...

On the Mend

So the past few weeks have gone a little something like this.

Wake-up, eat crackers, fall back asleep
Wake-up, eat breakfast, will myself to work
Want to fall asleep on clients, or leave the room so I can go feel queasy in peace
Eat a little something
Come home and eat a little more something
Fall back asleep
Wake-up, go teach, tell the girls that when they are stressing me out I feel like I need to throw-up.  They think this is funny.  I really do feel like I need to throw-up.
Go home and fall asleep.
Wake-up 2 times to pee, eat crackers.

It's been crap.  I haven't been excited at all about being pregnant.  Most of my thoughts centered around: if I'm this tired now, how am I ever going to survive once I actually have a baby OR if I'm this miserable now how will I ever survive child-birth.  Most of the time it felt like I had a parasite sucking the life out of me.

On Thursday, however, things started to turn around.  There was an hour or so that I actually felt good (okay or not bad was the best I had been in 2 weeks).  The past few days have been a lot more manageable.  I know I should just feel good about feeling better, but there is part of me that feels like maybe I should be worried.  Maybe things are not progressing if I'm not feeling like total crap.  But I realize that those thought are silly because they serve no constructive purpose.  Plus there is still enough queasiness, bloat, and tenderness to keep me in check.

The big re-confirm appointment is in two days.  We are hoping to see a 9 week 2 day old baby with a strong heartbeat.  If everything is good, we are going to start letting more people know we're expecting!

Read more...

155

Well we are confirmed!  There was a super strong 155 heartbeat, and yes there is a baby in there!  But not so fast there.  Don't go running around telling people yet.  Kiddo is only measuring 7 weeks instead of 8 at which the 40 week gestational calendar would place me.  The doctor and I are not concerned since I am sometimes a 34 day cycle person instead of the ever so common 28 day people.  TMI?  Anyway, this discovery made me celebrate my decision to push the appointment to the 8th week instead of the standard 7.  The doctor also thanked me, since no one wants to see that there isn't a heartbeat only to find out it was only because the calendar is slightly different for some.

Now due to the fact that I'm measuring more than a week off we will be going back in two weeks to confirm growth.  At that time I should be measuring about 9 weeks, which makes me feel more confident about sharing the news with our friends and family.  The dance studio will just have to wait to hear the news, since I don't want every parent to know, especially if I happen to miscarry over the summer.  That would be an awkward August full of telling people the bad news.  The big bummer is that I really wanted to be the one to tell my students, but now the news will probably gradually filter out mid-summer.  There are not many secrets around a dance studio.

We're very excited, although it's not bubbling over, since I'm still super tired and queasy, and not many people know.  In fact, I'm kinda freaking out a bit! :)

Read more...

Confirmation

I got a call from the doctors office today to confirm my confirmation appointment.  Also to confirm that I have no other insurance that I maybe forgot to list, because we don't have maternity coverage.


Tomorrow, tomorrow ... you're only a day away.


I'm nervous about tomorrow.  What we'll see.  If we'll hear anything.  But talking and writing about it only makes it worse.  I can't premeditate my reaction one way or the other, so for now I'll just settle for the update on what should be going on (via "thebump"):


Baby is now the size of a raspberry!
Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk.  Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.


Playing host to an ever-growing embryo does take a toll.  Heavy fatigue may be setting in.  Treat yourself gently.  Though it's not showing yet, you're growing a little person in there!

Read more...

28 years; 7 weeks preggo

So it was my birthday this past Tuesday!  I'm a big fan of my birthday.  I think this stems from always feeling like there was never a date to have a party, and sometimes not really having a party when I was younger.  May's always so crazy.  I usually had a banquet, dress rehearsal, recital, final exam, or graduation on my birthday or the weekend closest to it.  I used to hate that I had a May birthday, but now I love it.  May is such an exciting month!  The weather is usually nice.  Everyone is excited about the end of the school year, and the promises of an awesome summer.

For my birthday this year Hubs whipped up some french toast with sliced peaches ... yumm.  I didn't even mind that we didn't have syrup (a couple of months ago I finally threw out a bottle that we had had for years ... not that high fructose corn syrup goes bad!)  We met up for a late lunch with my sister and parents at Haven, which has become a new favorite.  We sat on their patio, by a pretty water feature enjoying a shrimp corn dog, deviled eggs, a delicious and tender steak, and freshly made lemonade.

After lunch I went straight to teach, where I wasn't the nicest teacher in the whole world, but apparently cracked up my Intermediate & Advanced Ballet students.  Who knew I was so funny?  Unfortunately my Ballet 2As (average age 7), got into a little trouble because they couldn't hold still for more then 10 seconds (maybe not even that long), but they all gave me hugs at the end of class with cheery "happy birthdays", so I couldn't have been that mean.

Last night after I finished teaching Hubs and I went out with our awesome friends Randi and Donald to Beaver's.  Their ginger soda is a new addiction! SO GOOD.  It was such a fun time of catching up, and I was totally planning on telling Randi about the belly, but just never felt the overwhelming desire.  In fact I didn't invite other people to join so that I could tell her/them.  However, she graduates this weekend, and all of her sisters will be in town, and I'll be around, and I think that she would want to tell her sisters: I know I found out about some of their pregnancies before they told their friends.  And I totally don't mind them knowing since they live in different states, and I never see them, and if I miscarry she'll be the one to have to share the news.  BUT, I'm going to see them all this weekend.  That, and I've waited this long to tell people, I might as well wait till the confirmation appointment on Tuesday.

Speaking of the belly and confirmation appointments: Sunday the 15th marked 7 weeks preganant.  According to "the bump": Baby's brain -- bothe hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.


On Monday I was really wishing I hadn't changed the appointment, and would be going to the doctor on my birthday, but now that the day has passed, and I'm now only 5 days away, I feel fine.  I'd rather the results of the ultrasound were more conclusive than kind of know one week sooner.  Hopefully the belly has a perfectly formed heart that is beating strongly, and if not, I have peace about that too.

Read more...

The Belly

The belly does not like warm water on it, especially from the shower.  Which is unfortunate because I love a warm shower.

The belly has a very keen sense of smell: towels washed in bleach. towels that smell like face. hair products. massage cream. my upper lip.  the area my dog sleeps in.  Fortunately none of the smells add to the queasiness.  It's just odd, though, since I already had a pretty sensitive sense of smell.

The belly only wants a few bites of something before saying "enough."

The belly is not good at communicating what food sounds appetizing.

Thoughts of certain foods or things make the belly uneasy.

Bumpy car rides, emotional excitement (positive or negative/ from self or others), and waistbands of all kinds are not friendly to the belly.

Read more...

Tummy troubles

So I'm not even going to complain.  I have an aunt and friend who spent every morning vomiting during the beginning of their pregnancies.  Waves of queasiness are nothing.  Cramping? It comes in waves.  Usually a few slow breaths calm things down.  That, and moving my waist band so that it's not putting pressure on my belly!  But what's so weird is my eating.  I get hungry without warning, and then full less than halfway through.  It's so strange.  Like just now I sat down with 4 small rectangles of dark chocolate: less than 3.5 grams, and couldn't finish.  I caved and bought a McFlurry while at the gas station today only to be "over it" 4 bites in (too bad I decided to finish it).

I've been doing more paleo/ primal research, such a stark contrast from being vegetarian, and am finding it really interesting.  I have a pretty ridiculously good diet (McFlurry aside), but I still have some major weaknesses: my organic lightly salted popcorn that I eat in mass, tortilla chips, and way too much rice (Chipotle anyone?).  I also need to up the spinach and good grass-fed beef intake.  Who wants to come over and prepare a steak salad for me every day!?

I've also been feeling pretty tired earlier in the evening and sleeping solidly.  I can't for the life of me figure out how to sleep on my side again.  I've become an exclusive back sleeper!  I guess I'll have to go for one of those big pillows, but I still think I'll wake up with my arms numb and tingly.  I also feel that I've lost all ability to hold my stomach muscles.  I already had a little pooch (I've ALWAYS had a little pooch), but now I just can't hold anything.  Maybe yoga tomorrow morning will help.

Not really sure where I'm going with all of this, so I'm going to end here.

Read more...