Sunlit Pass: The Lost Post

Written at the beginning of March ...

Well there's nothing quite like the feeling of losing something. In technology it's generally from the lack of pressing the "save" button. The great thing about blogger, is that it saves automatically. Apparently the blogger app does not. In fact I can't even find a "save" button.

As you might have guessed I lost a post. An epically long post typed one handed while breastfeeding in the middle of the night. Guess how excited I was to wake up to an empty screen? This was a 3 weeks ago, and it took me a week to convince myself that it was worth it, for memories sake, to re-write this post, it has taken me till now to actually do it. I can't help but feel, however, that this go round feels a little less inspired.

Parenthood has been treating us wonderfully. It's definitely an emotional journey, filled with 2 steps forward 1 step back. But James is probably the most wonderful baby in the world in terms of easiness. He really only cries when there is a need: diaper, hungry, occasionally gas. He has beautiful blue eyes that are bright and alert, and he loves to sleep as much as his mom!

Because I haven't been blogging these first couple of weeks, I thought I'd write a bullet point style review of James' first 6 weeks of life out of utero, written to James. The birth story (intense and worth it's own post), is in the drafted stages as dictated by Hubs.

Our time in the hospital once we were checked into our room:
After 2 nights of not sleeping and 36 hours of labor, ending in abdominal surgery, I was exhausted, and wanted to focus on resting and bonding with you.
We only had one person not in our immediate family visit us at the hospital.
The day after you were born there was a huge thunder storm. We felt like we were in a little tower away from the rest of the world. Time slowed down, and we didn't even realize the rest of the world existed (except through text and facebook!)

You never left our room, except for the stroll we took you on around our floor in your isolate.
You had to spend a day under the bili lights. I cried when they came in and took you from my arms, although you were only a few feet away from me, and I knew you would be fine, I hated knowing you were not completely well and that I could only hold you (on your blue blanket) while I fed you.
We were so excited to find out that your levels rebounded way up! James - 1, Jaundice - 0
My favorite thing was snuggling you to my chest as you slept so very peacefully.

My next favorite thing was that when you cried (if you weren't too hungry or dirty), I could just talk and the sound of my voice would calm you. It was an amazing feeling I could only begin to describe with words.
Your Daddy was so proud of me and kept talking about me like I'd just hit the winning home run in game 7 of the world series (for the St. Louis Cardinals, of course).

First bath

Meeting your cousin

All bundled up

View from our room

Bili Lights

Going Home Outfit

Going home

First car ride: out of utero

The first 2 weeks at home:
When we first got home we took you on a walk with Dancer. She has come to love you, but mostly ignores you and is sometimes kind of jealous. She often tried to sneak a lick in, when we let her get close.
I was so full of adrenaline, and opened the house to lots of guests: Everyone was so excited to meet you.
I was super determined to heal from surgery quickly by moving, but not over doing it.
You slept a lot, and nursed for very long periods of time, often falling asleep.
You let me sleep a good amount, but Daddy would sometimes take you and walk you around the house to comfort you, because I just needed 15 min.
You had 2 photo shoots.
Your Godmother Lindsey came to visit and stayed with us.
When I changed your diaper and you were being fussy I'd often sing, "Getting to know You." Daddy often sang, "Baby don't worry, 'bout a thing ..."
We were both falling more in love with you each day, coming to realize that you are our son.